Its Simply Meant to be
OK! something struck me very weird the other day. A friend asked me if Daniel and me ever fight. My answer was Daniel and me, we don't fight. Apparently we are weird for this. By the look on her face. Now I have always thought us being an odd couple. More like "Adams family" odd than, relationship in general odd. So has fighting with one another really became the norm? Really? How is that even a relationship? How is that the "Happily ever after" we have strive for sense Disney put out Snow White? Do not get me wrong we do disagree and have our moments of struggle. Every relationship does. But the yelling and fighting? That is not healthy my friend.
In my experience when you get to the point you want to yell at the other person (boyfriend, husband, girlfriend, friend) Its because there is something you have been wanting say for a while. You clearly need to sit down and discuss before this has gotten to this point. Communication is so important in every relationship. Keep that door open. The fear of hurting the other or disappointing the other. So we do this "Smile and wave boys!" (I myself have done this guess what... it doesn't work.) Then we BLOW UP! Become the crazy person in the room. This not healthy. For our minds or the other person in the relationship. It makes a thick tens space between the two of you and it makes a wedge that hurts you both. Bring things out in the open frees the relationship to where you can talk.
So what do you do? TALK! Now I know men do not do this well. At all but some women also do not ether. Now the txt "we need to talk." causes so much stress its crazy. Do not do this, just put it in casual conversation. Like for example ; It bothers me that dishes are in the sink and can not figure out why he wont do them when he comes home. Instead of yelling when I get home about it. "Hey honey has your day at work?" If he says long and tiring. There is your answer. Just asking the other person how something is going can explain a lot. If this is not the answer you want. Sometimes just asking for help in an area helps a lot. You would be surprised what happens when we just ask. Instead of jumping to dramatic conclusions. (I have no idea who would such a thing.)
Now I am not an expert just been in a lot of different situations that can give a little light in the subject. Been in a lot of bad relationships that was not healthy. I want to help others. Yelling, screaming, and constant fighting. IS NOT NORMAL! Not healthy and if kids are involved they do not need to be in the middle of it. We are an example for them. Is fighting the message we want to give? It stress the children out as much as the two of you. At times the kids believe you are fighting because of something they did. They feel like the burden or even worse the reason you are fighting. Don't put them in the middle of the situation. Take the issue away form the children. They do not need to see the stress of the world as children.
It is still sometimes weird after 2 years, working on our 3rd. To have someone who does put my well being first. To be in a healthy relationship. It can happen. When you look at each other as team mates than opponents it makes things a lot easier. Working together for the same cause and giving each other the benefit of the doubt will open up a lot of room for discussion. Hope this helps you or a friend you know. Please every one deserves there happiness. To find the one they can say "Its simply meant to be."
My love and support! We took some time for us.
In my experience when you get to the point you want to yell at the other person (boyfriend, husband, girlfriend, friend) Its because there is something you have been wanting say for a while. You clearly need to sit down and discuss before this has gotten to this point. Communication is so important in every relationship. Keep that door open. The fear of hurting the other or disappointing the other. So we do this "Smile and wave boys!" (I myself have done this guess what... it doesn't work.) Then we BLOW UP! Become the crazy person in the room. This not healthy. For our minds or the other person in the relationship. It makes a thick tens space between the two of you and it makes a wedge that hurts you both. Bring things out in the open frees the relationship to where you can talk.
So what do you do? TALK! Now I know men do not do this well. At all but some women also do not ether. Now the txt "we need to talk." causes so much stress its crazy. Do not do this, just put it in casual conversation. Like for example ; It bothers me that dishes are in the sink and can not figure out why he wont do them when he comes home. Instead of yelling when I get home about it. "Hey honey has your day at work?" If he says long and tiring. There is your answer. Just asking the other person how something is going can explain a lot. If this is not the answer you want. Sometimes just asking for help in an area helps a lot. You would be surprised what happens when we just ask. Instead of jumping to dramatic conclusions. (I have no idea who would such a thing.)
Now I am not an expert just been in a lot of different situations that can give a little light in the subject. Been in a lot of bad relationships that was not healthy. I want to help others. Yelling, screaming, and constant fighting. IS NOT NORMAL! Not healthy and if kids are involved they do not need to be in the middle of it. We are an example for them. Is fighting the message we want to give? It stress the children out as much as the two of you. At times the kids believe you are fighting because of something they did. They feel like the burden or even worse the reason you are fighting. Don't put them in the middle of the situation. Take the issue away form the children. They do not need to see the stress of the world as children.
It is still sometimes weird after 2 years, working on our 3rd. To have someone who does put my well being first. To be in a healthy relationship. It can happen. When you look at each other as team mates than opponents it makes things a lot easier. Working together for the same cause and giving each other the benefit of the doubt will open up a lot of room for discussion. Hope this helps you or a friend you know. Please every one deserves there happiness. To find the one they can say "Its simply meant to be."
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